I have a problem with Bell.ca online account management for the satellite TV. I'm not able to make changes to the programming (juggling soccer channels) because they have not updated their online database with the recent hardware changes (I'd ordered another head for the dish).
As a result, I am getting an error message informing me that I do not have that stupid extra head whenever I try to add a new channel.
I called them one month ago, asking to update their records. But the person on the phone simply could not understand what I wanted. I spent 20 minutes explaining, then gave up & hung up.
TODAY I decided to give it another try (I want to watch English Premiership game this Saturday). But, this time I decided to use their magical "online chat" feature.
Here is the chat log. Just read it.
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Chat Information: Thank you for your patience.
Chat Information: You are now chatting with Bilal.
Temuri: hi
Bilal: Hello! Thank you for visiting bell.ca, how may I help you today?
Temuri: I need your help configuring my account
Temuri: Do you know that some channels require hardware upgrade
Bilal: I'll be pleased to help you with this Mr.
Bilal: Yes I know this.
Bilal: How may I help you?
Temuri: ok, so here's the story
Temuri: I ordered GOLTV and that extra head was installed on my sat. dish
Temuri: Now, I'd like to change my programming ONLINE without calling support centre
Temuri: But the site would not allow me to make any changes - it tells me that I DO NOT HAVE hardware required. Obviously, you did not enter that change into the database
Temuri: I'd like you to update the records to enable online modification of programming
Temuri: I hope I made myself clear
[at this point I was pretty certain the guy finally understood my problem...]
Bilal: I'll be pleased to help you with this. May I have your telephone number (with the area code) please?
Temuri: 647 *** ****
Bilal: Thanks!
Bilal: Are you getting signal on satellite 82?
Temuri: I don't know which sat is that. But everything is working fine. Do you want me to find out?
Bilal: Yes please. I'll ask you to press menu and then 6-1-1. Change the satellite to 82 and transponder to 11. Let me know what's the signal there.
Temuri: 78% signal strength
Bilal: Is the signal bar green?
Temuri: yes
Bilal: Perfect!
[ok, I was surprised that he asked me to check the receiver. but, maybe he only wanted to be sure that I *DO HAVE* that stupid extra piece of shit satellite hardware. I did.]
Bilal: In this case, let me add the GOLTV channel.
[NOW!!! when I read this line, I hit the ceiling. WTF?! I already have GOLTV and I have it BECAUSE I'd added that extra hardware!!!!!! I felt like crying]
Temuri: wait! I already have it!!!!
[he never read the problem description above...]
Bilal: Yes, this is what I've just figured out.
Bilal: You should have GOLTV, WFN, Wild TV and Fight network.
Temuri: so do you understand what I want from you then?
Bilal: Well, you needed GOLTV and you already have it.
[!!! why would I ask you to add GOLTV if I already have it?!!!!]
Temuri: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[desperation...]
Bilal: Is there anything else that I can assist you with today?
[WAIT! Don't disconnect!]
Temuri: WAIT DAMN IT
Bilal: I'm here.
Bilal: Mind your language please.
Bilal: I'm here to help you.
Temuri: I FUCKING HATE BELL AND YOUR SUPPORT. Why can't you listen to me for a second?!
[I could not hold it back anymore... Months of hatred finally manifested themselves and courtesy gave way to real emotions...]
Bilal: Is that the way to use to thank people who help you?
Temuri: You do not help me at all
Temuri: listen to me now ok?
Bilal: I'll mark you IP address so that proper follow up can be done.
["proper follow up"? Am I going to be arrested?! Or fined?! Or GOLTV disconnected?!]
Temuri: sure do it
Temuri: just listen to me
Temuri: ok, here is what I want once again
Temuri: I want to be able to make changes to my programming using BELL.CA
[one last effort]
Temuri: ok?
Temuri: NOW
Bilal: You can only enhance your programming online, if you want to change or decrease anything, you have to call customer service.
Temuri: when I choose any channels or any possible combination of channels that *INCLUDES* GOLTV - I am getting an error saying that I do not have hardware to add GOLTV
Temuri: I am trying to enhance, ok?
Temuri: BUT I DO HAVE THAT HARDWARE
Bilal: This will take a while for the system to be updated.
[I could not believe what he was telling me. 4 months to update the database??]
Temuri: SO - could you update your database and indicate that I have that stupid second head
Temuri: "a while" - how long? it was installed 4 months ago!
Bilal: I'm amazed by you. Never chat with a client like you. Your language is very clean.
Bilal: Unfortunately I'll have to terminate this chat, because I cannot stand you anymore.
[WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!]
Temuri: What?
Bilal: Here you go.
Chat Information Your chat representative has ended the chat session. We thank you for using this service and we hope we have answered all your questions.
[and he disconnected]
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Screenshot of chat session:
Impressive, isn't it? Never in my entire life I have experienced anything close to this. I'll try to file a complaint, but honestly, I think it'd just be a waste of time.
